My tomorrow, your yesterday

「明日、会えるかな？」
僕の昨日
君の明日

僕のさよなら
君の初めて

映画 «僕は明日、昨日の君とデートする»

2018 - About work

The time in recent years is like shooting star. When you realised it's the end of 2017, you couldn't even catch the glimpse of its tail. And, it's already 2nd Friday of 2018.

Should I do a review of 2017 to see if I've grew any? Even I doubted myself.
- Let's save it when I remember, maybe the next I'll be doing review for 2018. Hahaha!

About work
Feel trapped, but I'm too comfort to leave. Every new year, I'm eager to leave but every year end, I feel dreadful - why I'm still stuck in the same job?! Upcoming projects, new jobscopes... sounds tempting for new opportunities, but I can foresee it's gonna be another dreadful year. 

Human is greedy. I want my salary to elevate but I know my qualifications are not enough. I wonder if I leave, is there any other firm would want to take me in? Sometimes I guess I LOVE to over think trivia things. I should put focus on important stuff instead.

I find myself hard to cope with things going on in my firm. I constantly live in my own bubble - I don't know who's leaving nor neither do I know the background of new joiners. Socialise, they said. I don't know what to ask if my opponent doesn't start the conversation first. I afraid what I ask would be prying on their personal lives. See, I know I've been thinking too much. I wonder if something is broken within me? Why am I living so carefully?

Ohh, and I find it's hard to be around of my colleagues sometimes. I feel like I've learn nothing much when I'm being asked to explain/teach to new joiner. I don't know how to explain to make sure I got it right. 

There's one slow learner that is wearing down my patience level. The same thing being explained by different people and she still couldn't get it. My colleague went to seek help from her closed friend from other team, saying that we need to boost her confidence level by asking her question that she can answer. I was like, wow. That friend of her really put effort to understand her and trying to tackle her problem.

I really still a kid that never grow up and this feeling keeps gnawing on me recently. I realise I didn't care enough what's happening around me. I only care about myself. Selfish. Self-centered.

When can I grow up? Even just a little, please?