Friday, March 31, 2017

Realisation... 2.

Wanted to write this post last Friday but ended up writing it today.

I realised - I really am living in my own fantasy. I don't care what's happening around the world, unless those I wanted to care. Like the most basic one - petrol prices. 

I didn't know RM 50 can only get 21.736 litres of petrol (this was before the petrol price adjustment announced today). I didn't know 2 bars of petrol can actually go pretty far (from my office to Mid Valley and from Mid Valley back to my house) - total mileage is less than 25 km. I was so worried that I couldn't get home with 2 bars of petrol. But my optimism beat my worries, at the end of the day, I was able to reach home safe and sound.


I'll start taking note about such trivial things. I used to think that all these don't really matter to me, because my dad is always there to support me and I know I can fully dependent on him. But not anymore, I will have and need to be more independent. :')

Saturday, March 25, 2017

First Love

사랑의 물리학 김인육
愛的物理學 金仁旭


질량의 크기는 부피와 비례하지 않는다.
品質和體積不成正比。

제비꽃 같이 조그마한 그 계집애가
那個如紫羅蘭般小巧的丫頭,
꽃잎같이 하늘거리는 계집애가
那個似花瓣般輕曳的丫頭,
지구 보다 더 큰 질량으로 나를 끌어당긴다.
以遠超過地球的品質吸引著我。

순간, 나는
一瞬間,我
뉴턴의 사과처럼
如同牛頓的蘋果一樣,
사정없이 그녀에게로 굴러떨어졌다.
不受控制地滾落在她腳下。

쿵 소리를 내며
咚的一聲,
쿵쿵 소리를 내며
咚咚一聲,
심장이 하늘에서 땅까지 아찔한 진자운동을 계속했다.
從天空到大地,心臟在持續著令人眩暈的擺動。

Image from pinterest

첫사랑이었다.
那是初戀。

Poem from: The Physic of Love

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Blissful

Health is not valued till sickness comes.
- Thomas Fuller -



It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mahatma Gandhi -



My dad finally got rid of the life of carrying 2 bags of lung fluids around for a month. It was a boring dreadful month. #confinement

Thank you, thank you and thank you. 
Words can't describe how I feel right now. #feelingcontent #blissful #happiness :)

A thought occurred to me when my dad was being diagnosed with cancer. He must be living too comfortably, that's why God decided to give him a rather challenging assignment to deal with at this age. This assignment not only meant for him, but for us, as a family member as well. We're all going too easy with our lives.
#takethingsforgranted

People nowadays are so scared when heard about cancer because we're ignorant. We know too less about something we should know, something we're supposed to know. Everyone gave me that startled look when I told them about my dad. "What?! Cancer?! Are you f*cking serious?" Yea, I was there with him when the result was being announced. I dunno what reaction I put on my face, but I can be pretty sure deep down I was as calm as lake water.

Then everyone is so concerned about him, that he would receive few calls a day and few visits a day over the weekend and when he was being hospitalized. This proved to me how strong his connections are. Even a friend from Cameron purposely came to visit him after knowing his condition. So much better than some fake relatives, asking via phone, and the worst part of all is that he asked my aunt rather than calling my dad directly. He got defended by my aunts and my sis, saying maybe he doesn't want to disturb my dad. Yea, right. And both me and my sis got criticised because ACCORDING TO HIM we were too high-profile in social media (and we were like, huh? Wtf?! All I did was sharing videos. Let alone my sis, she didn't even post anything on her wall). Whatever. Generation gap. I had mentioned this before in my previous post, but every time I thought of this, it makes my water boiling up. Ugh. I swear I'm not going to meet them if they ever come KL. I'll make up whatever reasons I can just to avoid meeting them. #toxicpeople #escapist

For people like my dad who loves to look as handsome as he can (he used to comb his hair even though his hair was too short to be combed) to becoming a bald-headed uncle, it was too painful to see. He said - there's no option left for him, is there? - with that pussy car look from Shrek movie. :'(

I wish nothing more than to have his health back and start enjoying his retirement life.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

お金 #2

Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more one wants.
- Benjamin Franklin -


Dun ask me to go shopping, in fact, dun ask me out to spend a penny. Mainly because I'm constantly depriving of money. I feel like, but I dunno why. And damn, this feeling haunts me.

***I just want something to take the blame.
Thus, I blame my job. 

Ever since I changed my job, bad things keep coming to me. Of course, I received good ones too. But the bad ones were severely impacted to my life. Maybe I'm being too focus on the bad things, that's why they keep looking for me.

I always curious, those who earn lesser than me, how can they sustain? Or they actually having a hard time too, but without complaining? But their lust seem to be so much more humongous than mine. Travelling, wearing branded stuff, cafe-hopping... How? Are they earning extra income? I almost stop going to cafe, my friends used to say I always go travelling, always eat nice food. Maybe I posted too much photos on social media. So they've got such "perception".


Where and how to earn extra in a legit way? 
#cruelworld
 #makemoneyworkforme

Or maybe I'm asking too much. Only when I appreciate, money will come to me without me asking for more. 
#lawofattraction 
#enoughishappiness

Thursday, March 9, 2017

記得 • 忘記

我覺得
老是叫人
記得
的同時也是在叫人
忘記



#魔咒

Sunday, March 5, 2017

想 • 自由

只有妳 懂得我 
就像被困住的野獸 
在摩天大樓 渴求 自由
- «想自由» 林宥嘉 -


有時候我覺得自己像一隻小小鳥
想要飛卻怎麼樣也飛不高
也許有一天我棲上了枝頭
卻成為獵人的目標
我飛上了青天才發現自己從此無依無靠

每次到了夜深人靜的時候我總是睡不著
我懷疑是不是只有我的明天沒有變得更好
未來會怎樣究竟有誰會知道
幸福是否只是一種傳說我永遠都找不到

我是一隻小小小小鳥
想要飛呀飛 卻飛也飛不高
我尋尋覓覓 尋尋覓覓 
一個溫暖的懷抱
這樣的要求 算不算 太高
- «我是一隻小小鳥» 趙傳 -


做小鳥有比較自由嗎?
#livinginmyownfantasy