Courage

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.
- Abraham Maslow -

Everyone will be facing a turning point at certain age. My cousin, Erin is facing hers at the age of 27. Fed up with her 2nd job, thus she decided to leave for good. She was in advertising field and it's considered small field in Malaysia. No matter how you jump, the choices are limited.

So, she decided to apply for oversea companies and ended up chosen China's company. At the very last minute of settling her working visa and stuff, she's still struggling whether to go or stay because she heard too many negative voices telling her how bad it is to work in China.

She didn't like China at the first place. Now with so many negative comments about working in China made her more dreaded to go. But anyway, decision is made, she packed her stuff and just went with it. 

Luckily she brought her mom and her sis with her. As I know her, she's lack of sense of direction, very stubborn once she thinks she's right, and she can be hard to get through sometimes, like we're always not in the same channel.

Even though she is dreaded, half a year already passed by. The last I met her was during CNY, with awesome gradiant on her face but with soulless eyes. The good condition on her face was due to cold weather, as for her eyes, she told us she has been insomnia for a month. Deprived of sleep can really drive a person crazy. 

Insomnia is barely occurred in my life, but I had experienced it once. You couldn't sleep when you're supposed to, you would constantly counting down to when you can sleep or when the day comes.

She did some research and found out that she actually has mild depression according to the test she took. Her boss is mean and demotivated. When she was given a task, her boss demanded her to complete within split second. If she couldn't, her boss would chide - why are you being so slow? Didn't you bring your brain to work? When I heard her story, I can tell that he is not a good leader. Working under such person can be so intimidating and stressful. So we can see why she couldn't sleep at night. Or when she finally drifted to sleep, he appeared in her dreams and continued to haunt her.

We advised her, no point to work under such circumstances. It's not like you earning a lot but you almost giving up your health to your work. It's okay to quit and pay the penalty for leaving without completing the job contract. It's not worth to stay for the money.

I watched a talk recently and the speaker talked about it's tough to give up. Because you think you've given too much to come to this far, and now you're being torn in between giving up or continuing. Giving up would mean to give up all your effort to make it this far, but you've lost the passion to continue. The dilemma is hard to tolerate. Well, no matter what we said, the decision maker is still her.

I wanted a chance to leave home as well, but I'm not actively searching. Deep down, I guess I'm too comfort to leave. 

Life, in a nutshell.