想得美

與其等早餐送上門，還不如自己做。哈哈哈

Kohwei's style kimchi jiggae

雖然沒什麼賣相 但比起第一次做的好吃 ♡

Breakfast at your doorstep

What if someone said he'll deliver breakfast at your doorstep? :)

Negativity

I'm drowning in a pool of negativity
No one can save me besides myself
But my heart is too tired to do so
So I let myself to sink further

They said
To be persistent
To never give up
Just a little bit more
You'll see the light you've been searching all along
That works well for everyone else
But me

I didn't want to be this negative piece of sh*t

I never wanted this

This is not me

But I couldn't talk myself out

What is with me
Every single time when exam is around the corner
Negativity will surely come to me

What should I do to make myself feel better
To quit?
There are voices murmuring behind my mind
Saying you've come so far
Just 5 more
Why don't you complete it
Then only think of what you want to do

Yea
5 out of 14
Already more than half
Everyone is taking it so easy
But why is it so hard for me

Will detour make it easy?
But I afraid I'll never come back to it
What if I end up having nothing

年輕人要有年輕人的樣子
什麼是年輕人的樣子呢
。熱血
。不依賴
。不服輸
。積極爭取
。奮鬥
。渴望證明自己的人
而不是
・抱怨
・龜縮、怕這怕那
・找各種藉口
・一味的幻想
・懶
一一鐘二毛

我是後者，怎麼辦？

我何時才能找到自己想走的路？

現在必須走的，我能不要走嗎？

When can I catch my dream?

Demanding

害怕失去，所以抓得越緊。

殊不知，那只會失去得更快。

I really really need to get over with my clingy, insecure shit.

I think I'm the kind of people that like to test others' patience. Until one day, they fed up with me and walk away.

Thank you for putting up with me. 

Thank you for staying in my life, and not leaving, yet. :')

Change

In life you'll realize that there is a purpose for every person you meet. Some are there to test you, some will use you, some will teach you, and some will bring out the best in you.

Everyone is telling me - I need a change or rather I need TO change.

I wonder, since when my temper is becoming shorter and shorter. I get annoyed and impatient easily. And I think I'm being weirder and weirder these days. Like when I said something wrong, and I tried to fix it, but ended up, what I said is just worsen the entire situation.

I started to realise that I'm really sucks at expressing my thoughts and also two-ways communication. To the extent that I have to pick up books like 'how to communicate'. Sometimes, I just said things too harshly and there's no u-turn after saying it. It was me who created all the awkward silence which I dreaded the most.

And I often expected too much and receiving too much. All relationships require give-and-take but I'm being the one that just take without giving. I expect everyone should understand me, my situation if they put their shoes in mine. But I'm wrong. Who can really understand one another when I can't even understand myself sometimes?

My friends also suggested that the friendship between Y and me ended up this way is probably my fault. Well, maybe? Because from the start I get annoyed when I didn't get reply from her but she can easily reach me; and she hated me because of my negative vibes. We seem to get along well but actually not quite as these small issues being accumulated without communicate. And we both are stubborn person.

Okay, that's it. This is gonna be my last post of dwelling on this friendship.

SH said not every sorry needs to get a proper forgiveness. He said maybe I can try approaching her by just saying hi. Like get to know each other right from the beginning again. Right. But I'm tiring of being the active party. Can I at least expect more this time? Nevermind.

And I'm being asked to be more positive. Because people with positive vibes will attract more friends. I mean people are willing to approach positive friends instead of negative shit like me. Because I will apologize for things that weren't even my fault. I hate to admit but yea, I'm living in other people's perspective.

誰都明白除了改變一切都在改變

可變來變去也改變不了我的孤獨感

- «愛缺» 陶晶瑩 -

p/s: who doesn't want to be selfish and just live for herself? The world is already such a cold-hearted place to live in, if everyone is being selfish, what will this world be like?

IMY

在日出之前
能不能再看一眼你的臉
-還是會 韋禮安-

When you like someone, it can be so overwhelming that you feel like sharing everything to him. Wish he was here, seeing what you're seeing.

This feeling can be so scary. It's like you're losing yourself. Because before this, you're doing just fine being alone. Eating alone, movie alone, seeing your favourite sunset alone... Why is this feeling so strong?

Something must be seriously wrong with me. I just hope that my heart is not feeling wrong as I might probably just falling for the sweet talk, which can be bad. It's like you're hungry, but he only offer you candy instead of a meal.

Nevermind. I must be out of my mind.

I Ain't Flawless

If I showed you my flaws

If I couldn't be strong

Tell me honestly

Would you still love me the same?

- Locked Away by R.City ft. Adam Levine -

說真的
我覺得我很會消耗大家的精神

因為我不是那種很好相處的人

相處久了 接受不了

然後大家就這樣離開我的生活了

- 我自卑（常聽別人這麼說我，但其實我自我感覺良好）
- 我很負面、消極（其實上一秒的我明明還很陽光）
- 我常把話說得不留餘地（臺階也省了不讓別人下）
- 我3分鐘熱度（或許現在的我很喜歡和你膩在一起，但很難保證下一秒我不會和你翻臉）
- 我沒拿真心出來投入任何一段感情（對於友情我媽常這樣說我的，我有嗎？）
- 我小氣（其實也還好，只是最討厭被人念）
- 我沒耐性（不喜歡等人卻老是讓人等我）
- 我極度沒有安全感（說話/信息的語調稍微不對我就會以為是我說錯話）

如上述說的
缺點是整匹布那麼長
怎麼會有人喜歡類似像我這樣的女生
或許有（也可能是他瞎了）
而且我很挑
說穿了我憑什麼挑人
我並沒有很優越的條件
而且性格又那麼糟糕

然後
在選擇男朋友的那一欄
填上了很長很長的擇偶條件
1. 他必須要很高
能讓我毫無負擔地踩高蹺
肩並肩地走在一起
因為我的身高比平均女生的高度還要高
2. 我是嚴重的外貌協會會員
我沒有要求他一定要很帥
但起碼要過到我自己那關
如果要講究細節
還是不了吧
免得被人打
3. 我不介意他家有沒有錢
重要的是他是靠自己賺錢
4. 最基本的他不能嫖、不能煙
賭和酒只要不過份就好
5. 性格上要能互補彼此的缺點
要什麼都能聊一餐
不聊天時也不會尷尬
The list can go on and on.

是啊
每個人都說一定是我太挑
所以才一直單身
每個人都這麼說
我也就這麼認為了

«北京遇上西雅圖之不二情書»裡

有句對白讓我特別揪心
"你真是讓人心疼的孩子"
"從來沒有人對我這麼說過"

在你遇上對的人的時候
其實上面列出來的擇偶條件就會完全瓦解
你會搞不懂
到最後你選的人
跟一開始列出來的條件
是完全不相符的
可是你就那麼瘋狂地喜歡上了

到頭來
你只是想被人了解
然後在一起時
那個舒服的氛圍
可以讓你盡情地做自己

來不及感謝是你給我勇氣
讓我能做回我自己
-小幸運 田馥甄-

雖然說已經過了耳聽愛情的年齡
但有誰可以抗拒
時而無微不至的溫柔
時而讓你沉溺得無可自拔

短暫的相遇可以說是愛情嗎
也未免太過草率
而且現在的人只要曖昧
不要戀愛
我能承認嗎？
一一其實我也是

上面也說了
我是極度不安和敏感的人
如果你只說而我沒看到行動
那我就會退回我的保護壳裡
我明白不管是什麼關係
都是雙方give and take

對，我很自私
我會衡量
到底這段關係值得我這麼付出嗎
如果值得
我付出的肯定是你的一倍
但可能你會察覺不到
因為我不冷不熱的性格使然

最後的最後

我只是想談戀愛

說一個人也無所謂是自欺欺人

若有人陪

誰還會想要一個人 :')

暗透了才有星光，向死而生。

<3

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

-Dr Seuss-

I don't know what I'm feeling right now but I decided to give it a try.

«北京遇上西雅圖之不二情書»
深爱太伤人了，毫无保留的把心放出去，就害怕有一天得自己一个人疗伤。可要是不再试，你又怎么知道那个人是不是最对的呢？大不了再试，再失败，然后试着让自己失败得更好看一点。

Fluffed Café & Dessert Bar @ Taman Paramount, PJ

When talked about fluffed, my mind is full of something that is fluffy - cotton candy, something that is in creamy colour... And the cafe below is offering food that is exactly like its shop's name.

There are photo spots here and there, even outside of the cafe. 

The logo on the door are super cute too!

I was so embarrassed to take the photo nearer.

People from the inside can see me!

The interior.

We went on weekday, so the shop is quite empty.

So we took photos like nobody's business.

One of the decors in the shop and I like the most!

The waiting number with the dried flowers decor.

Rose cloud cake - recommended by other bloggers. RM11

Most of the girls will like it - regardless of the appearance or the taste.

It was so dreamy, like the kind of food that will only appear in a fairy tale.

The cake is decorated with a slice of strawberry and shredded rose petals,

and when you take a bite of it, there are lychees and nata de coco inside!

So the taste is pretty surprising too.

The monkey king. RM18

The ice-cream is dark chocolate flavor!

Ohh, and the banana is coated with a layer of caramel.

Pooh Bear's Favourite, recommended by the waitress.

Waffle topped with honey caramel ice-cream and assorted fruits.

By now you should have realise, their foods are all named after the characters' from the cartoons that we used to watch when we were younger.

Fluffed Café & Dessert Bar

Address: 58A, Jalan 20/7 Taman Paramount, 46300 Petaling Jaya, Selangor

Operating hours: Closed on Mondays; Tuesdays to Thursdays: 1200-2200; Fridays to Sundays: 1200-2300

Website: Fluffed