Birthday

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. 

-Walt Disney-

24 years ago, my mom gave birth to me. Giving all her best, hoping one day I'll be a great person. Living up to this point, I feel like I haven't live up to anyone's expectation. I'm still looking desperately for the purpose of my life.

I wasn't happy today, even though I think I'm supposed to. There's a lump in my throat, making me wanna cry. Tears rolling down my cheek uncontrollably, thinking what the heck I'm doing on my birthday. Self-declare birthday leave but rotting at home. Cousin was supposed to pick me up and we were supposed to be chatting away with life. But I was fed up. I was pissed off with everything. There was no conclusion arrive after hours of texting. No one bothered. If someone did, they would have show up and drag me out of my house. Never mind, I know I'm expecting too much. Who am I?

There ain't many wishes this morning. Though I'm excited to see piles of texts coming in. But no. And the wishes only started coming in when I posted the screenshot, revealing that today is my birthday. 

This was never my intention. I replied half-heartedly. I didn't feel like smiling but I still replied with smiling emoticon. I don't know what had gotten to me, feeling down all of the sudden.

I don't know who I can go to. I don't know what is causing my sadness. If I really want to confide in someone, I don't know what to tell.

My birthday is supposed to be a good wrap up for year 2016 but looking at the current situation, I'll probably cry myself to sleep tonight.

No one will read this anyway. Because I'm just an attention seeker af. Okay, bye.

Last but not least, happy birthday to myself. Officially 24.