Lemon

When life gives you lemon, make it into lemonade.

***Well, not every lemon can make into lemonade though. And its sourness can make you frown and wrinkle your nose.

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DON'T READ, IT WILL SERIOUSLY AFFECT YOUR GOOD MOOD. I MERELY WRITE TO RANT THE INDESCRIBABLE FEELING OF MINE.

Sometimes I'm pretty fed up with trivial things that happened around me.

#Like, I always can't find companion to go travel with me. What's worst - is that I limit myself. I need to have a companion to travel with. Screw my stupid dependency! When can I leave my rut? When can I leave my comfort zone? I guess I just can't channel enough courage to make the first step, even though I keep saying I'll make it to Japan alone, someday. But that someday doesn't seem to be in near future.

#Like, when I thought the trip is on for sure because everyone is so excited about it, and then it's off. Why? I've got no time. I'm so poor. I can't take leave. Various excuses started to pop up. They made me so excited about it and then they poured a bucket of ice water on me, extinguishing my excitement.

#Like, complaining is one of my hobbies. I know very well actually those things are best to keep in my heart rather than saying out loud. But I just uncontrollably grumbling about it, even to my own ears, they sound like stink shit. And I can't stop myself.

#Like, I dun really like what I'm doing now, but I dunno what I can do to make the current situation gets better. And an invisible "stress?" - I'm not even sure if that feeling is called stress - makes me suffocate. But I can't give up my life. What would make me then? There are so many people struggling to live and here I am, whining and not working hard to make my everyday counts.

At some moments, I feel like disappearing into thin air and wonder what this world would be like without me? I guess it would just be one person lesser to fight over the oxygen. Oops, too negative, sorry.

#Like, whatever I written up there is not worth to read. Unless, when you manage to read till here and you can somehow relate. Otherwise, this is just another piece of shit. 

我 希 望 十 年 後 的 我 還 是 好 好 的。