Goblin

날이 좋아서,
날이 좋지 않아서,
날이 적당해서.
모든 날이 좋았다
- 김신 -

It had came to an end - Kim Eun Sook's writer's piece of master art. In a slow pace, but a good wrapped up. A very good story to ponder upon life.

I always like such topics - supernatural genre. About previous lives, about reincarnation, about God, about death, about how everything works after we died. This drama put in a lot of scenes, whereby people come and leave. Those scenes are Grim Reaper's workplace, where he served many cups of tea to the deceased souls, tell them to drink it and leave the memories behind before they pass on. It was meaningful.

Grim Reapers are the being that are in between the living and the death. Whoever had became Grim Reaper are those who committed a huge sin in their previous lives, i.e. you took your own life. Been hearing that a lot, that killing yourself can actually bring you to hell but any other places you would like to be.

Now I would like to think - whenever it rains, it means Goblin is sad; or whenever miracle befallen, it's gonna be Goblin's doing. The Goblin in this drama said - some people had miracle once and will work very hard to live their lives to the fullest as appreciation; while there are some who keep wishing for more miracles to befall on them, ended up living a life of blaming game.What a greed of human.

“My sister, my friend and my bride have all left. And as always, I’m left all alone” 
-Kim Shin-

But it makes me feel sad to think that after living a life of nearly 1000 years as a punishment, Goblin still continues to live and sees everyone around him to pass on. After Ji Eun Tak, his bride died in her first life, followed by his good friend, Grim Reaper & his reincarnated sister, Sunny, he spent time waiting and waiting for his bride to come to him this time, in her second life. Sometimes, no matter how much you want for things to happen, ALL you can do is wait. And usually, waiting is the hardest part.

“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful…
The first thought I had once I got my memory back was to live each day as if it were my last.
If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love” 
-Ji Eun Tak-

There are too many quotes in this drama I'm deeply in love with because they're too well-written. I actually hoping one day I would write something like Kim Eun Sook writer. I like how she connected everyone in the drama and bring this whole drama a great success. Every casting, no matter the main leads or supporting roles, they all did a very good job too. And the chemistry of the 4 main leads. ❤

Quebec, Canada is such a nice place.
Would definitely visit this place one day :)

Every scene in the drama seems like poster to me. 

Ohh, and their OST, I almost playing them everyday. *Too obsess*

Picture credit: Dokebi TVN facebook

算了

有很多時候，我很想說一一不如算了，好嗎？

反正我們都被標籤，說不夠堅持。

我 累 了

討厭現在這種 一 成 不 變 的生活

Fitting shoes

Finding love is like finding shoes. People prefer party shoes to daily wear, but they always turn out to be happy with the ones they feel comfortable at all times, i.e. daily wear.

- Unknown -

Indeed. Back when I was younger, I wanted shoes that look nice on my feet. Who cares if the shoes would make my feet sore or cause blisters? I would still wear it even if it was killing me. Even though we walk more during school era, we should really deserve a better pair of shoes. But back then, I couldn't afford pricey but comfortable shoes.

In the present, I wouldn't say I've finally got money to buy my own favourite and comfortable shoes. Because I'm still as poor af. But at least, I'll go for shoes that (1) I would feel comfortable when putting them on, and then (2) only would I consider whether they look good on me.

I have been searching for my shoes for ages and it's futile due to my big feet that look like ship. Ugh. I managed to buy but sadly, they're not my favourite. Now they're biting my feet. :( should have gotten the normal size that I usually wear. I compromised by buying one size smaller because they seem to fit when I tried them and because I don't have much time left until CNY. What a foolish decision that I made.

And then, I realised. Actually choosing a pair of shoes is just like choosing someone to be your other half.

#1 Undeniably, most of us are appearance-driven, of course we would look at one's appearance before the conversation can go further down the road. Unless you just want to be friends, because I don't care whether my friends are ugly or pretty, as long as they're good-hearted.

#2 Once you lock your target - like shoes, you'll try fitting your feet into them and walk around to see if you feel comfortable - you would want to know more of that person. The basic would be looking forward to chat with him and getting incoming messages from him and meeting face-to-face whenever time allows. I just can't do all these with some people, even though they might fond of me or whatsoever, I'll end up hated them. Yea, you can just say me being picky.

#3 So far, I wasn't able to progress further. I seem to stuck at #2 before any sparkles can kindle. Maybe the problem is on me, whatever. If I were able to pass #2, I would be wearing the shoes now. Comfortable or not? I'm at the stage of wearing them daily, walking long distance from LRT station to workplace. Trying to adjust my feet in line with the new shoes. Like today, the shoes are causing blister on my feet, and the shoes don't seem to have space for my big toes. So if the shoes don't fit my feet - just like the person I thought is my Mr Right but actually he's not - I'll end up hurting my feet.

Everyone wonders how will I look like when I'm in love/in a relationship, even myself sometimes ponder too. Will I lose myself as I'm trying to become someone else? Will I get along with him? Will we quarrel a lot or will we stay sweet? Too many questions playing around my head. But these are future, I couldn't foresee it. Just let it be. :D 

病向「錢」中醫

有天，和艾莉絲聊起一一說如果有天你被告知得了病，你會（1）拿錢去治療還是（2）拿錢去做自己喜歡的事，不讓自己有遺憾。我們都很一致同意拿錢去做自己想做的事。但今天想想，不對，如果那病是有痛楚的話，你拿著錢能到哪裡去？

我完全認同健康就是最大的財富。因為健康，你才能完成更多的事。看著老爸因為腰痛，整整一個禮拜睡不好了。看了中醫喝了中藥，還是不見好轉。然後又特地去到NILAI看醫生（我也不懂該如何稱呼那位uncle，會醫病的都叫醫生吧哈哈哈）。高手在民間，見到那位uncle我是這麼認為。因為我們仨都給那個uncle推，說筋脈都塞了，痛到飆淚。以為按了就會好一點，結果也是暫時的。我發現人不到最後一刻都不會到醫院求醫。前面開始有症狀的時候，都會去忍，要不然就直接忽略掉。或許是報章上有太多的醫療疏忽，人們都會想，花了那筆錢也不知道醫不醫得好，有時就這麼算了。

心裡不禁會想，我該不會因為這樣而失去他吧？因為生命有時就是那麼脆弱。在死亡面前，都是遺憾一一<鬼怪>說的。你可以說我想多了，但有時候事情很難測。

我覺得把自己照顧好，沒病沒痛就是對父母最好的報答。:')

現在的心情就像這場塞車那麽堵。以為工作後就能很自由，包括經濟自由。放屁！吃家裡，住家裡，除了給那丁點而的家用，對家裡絲毫沒貢獻。連老爸去看醫生，能做到的只是陪他去，錢還是他自己付。失敗 :'(

需要人陪

一個我需要夢想
需要方向 需要眼淚
更需要一個人來點亮天的黑
我已經無能為力
無法抗拒 無路可退
這無聲的夜 現在的我
需要人陪
- 王力宏 «需要人陪» -

我說
快要你生日了
買些你需要的
她說
把錢存起來買你自己喜歡的
陪我過過就行了

人長大後
生日也越變越簡單
簡單到可有可無的狀態

然後回想起去年的生日
其實為什麼要讓自己過得那麼慘？

#為什麼我們要長大

Words

I guess I'm too indulged in words written by whoever because they seemed to be related closely to whatever I'm experiencing. 

It's not a good thing as I take everything they wrote as granted. I would think that life is supposed to be the same as the words I read.

But I should have realise. I should have realise everyone is leading different life. 

It was not the first time when someone told me - that I should have my own quotes, my own ways of living, instead of following the flow. 

But I've got no direction, no target. I couldn't imagine how my future is supposed to be like. 

I know I'm not alone out there and this feeling sucks.

Festive season

Counting down to CNY. 

#越來越沒有新年氣氛的新年

Ever since I working - especially current job, I have no idea how festive season should look like. What is festive season? Can eat one aa? Even reunion dinner also have to depend on the workload that day itself. If it's overload, means I might not be able to rush for my reunion dinner. I have never once missed it. I guess last year the date was just nice that we didn't clash. Talk about this just makes me hate my job further.

Growing up means missing event like this. No more visiting houses to houses, collecting angpau. And I'm getting older to collect any angpau. People will start shooting questions about my life, my work, my love, my everything... I don't think I have answer for all these just yet.

Working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. 

Sh*t Job

#fliptable

I really hate my current job. Fml.

Many may think - I can't see which part of the job is not good enough. Because all they can see is that I always taking break from the company. But be noted that I'm never on a long break. The most when it's over the weekend, about 4 days?

This job limits me a lot of things.

I was supposed to take ACCA papers, screw the service level agreement, I gave up after 2 seatings because I ain't going anywhere.

The salary I'm earning is not enough to sustain me, even though I'm staying with family. Maybe I'm just greedy. Wanted everything but not working hard enough to earn what I want.

Thought of leaving, every single closing, without fail. This feeling sucks. When month end hit, I'm depressed and demotivated. It's just me, being escapist. 

Everyone else is doing just fine.

I'm a coward. I just thinking how to escape instead of improve. I'm a no-good person. 

It's 2017 already, I dunno what can I do to change my life.