Generation gap

Qisin!

Change your thought and you change your world.

- Norman Vincent Peale -

What's with the underlying rules set by the elders -
That we have to confine/limit ourselves,
That we have to be fully by mentally and physically support to our loved one who got sick,
That we cannot have any entertainment because we're not allow to have that happy feeling, to hang out with friends,
That we have to tone down in social media, or if we want to be so high profile that I have to write my sad feelings all over my wall,
That we have to show depression in order to prove that we're sad, that we care.

What the stupid fking rules are these?
I wanted to crack open their brains and see what's inside.
Why our thinking can be so different?
Why can they be so stubborn?
Why can't they try to understand us instead of forcing us to understand them?
Where's the equality?

We're all humans.
Who aren't sad when your loved ones got sick?
But because I strongly believe that he'll be fine if he follows instructions.
That's why I can be so calm and act like as if nothing happens.

I thought I have to be positive in order to brighten up the circumstances around me.
But they prove me wrong.

Now I have to calm myself down, because I got too agitated, too tension.
And in their eyes, I'm throwing tantrum over minor things like this.
That I cannot control myself.
That I got myself carried away.
That I'm immature.

Maybe I'm. 

Or probably I'm. 

Or yes, I'm.

But I just can't stand being said in such a way that they define who I am, what I should feel.

I'm not a puppet.
Thank you for your kind concern but you need to gimme time to adjust myself and I would like you to know and understand that how we deal with sadness is, a TOTALLY DIFFERENT way. 
By the way, sorry about my low EQ and for being rude.