迷路・找不到方向 I

I'm always lost, though I think I'm good at direction.

Because I'm happy-go-lucky kind of person in my journey of growing up. To be honest, I think I hated study. In my primary school era, everyone worked so hard for UPSR but me? Keep failing throughout the trial exams. Okay, maybe not failing all the way, but I got really bad grades. I think I kept playing until the exam day, never really study. Or maybe never study at all.

On the exam day itself, many were holding books, trying to fit in whatever they hadn't finished memorizing. But me? Thinking why everyone is so serious. At the end, I got 6A's. Thought I was going to get bad grades again, just like what I did during trials.

And so, I got into secondary school. 3 years later, prepared for PMR - another important exam. Seldom do homework, didn't even pay attention during class and only attended some tuitions. Ended up I got 5A's.

Then, there came SPM. Everyone had been working so hard, trying to get full A's so that it's easier to get scholarship for college/university. But me? The same old me, maybe a little more diligent as compared to previous exams. Flipping through the notes, literally. For my favourite subjects, I practised a little bit. So I got 7A's. Didn't expect to get such result. My parents thought I'm going to get a bad one. Who knows? I secretly think the marker marked my papers wrongly, probably.

I guess that's it. My luck started to depreciate when I went to college.

Due to my good SPM result, I managed to get 75% of scholarship from the college I was attending. And that's the most affordable college for me to be able to continue my tertiary education. 

Because I was an art stream student, with accounting background. I wanted to go for courses like advertising but that enthusiasm of mine quickly dampened by my parents. They said you know what about being creative? And so, my creativity is being murdered. But now, I'm quite grateful I didn't make that choice as seeing my cousin is working in that industry, I'm not sure if I can work like her. Working with no days and nights, the eyebags, the frizzy hair, the bad temper...

Anyway, back to the topic on how I got myself stuck in accounting. No doubt, it was one of my favourite and also the subject I did the best. But to choose it as the course to study based on this reason is so ridiculous. Yea, I might did well, because it's so routine. You just have to memorize the way of doing it, you can excel in it. Please be noted, this only applies to calculation.

My parents doubted about all the courses I picked. So they went to ask advices from their friends. One of their friends' son and daughters all went for accounting courses. So my parents were like "Ohh, accounting is not bad, and for a lady to become an accountant, is good." My mom was actually suggesting me to become a teacher. What?! I hate teaching, especially when I'm teaching my sister. Mental broke down man.

Here I am, left with no other options, and accounting was my last resort. After half year break from SPM, I was so excited about my college life, even though the course I took was not what I wanted.

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ARTICLE BY MEIYA:-
在每一次纠结的选择中成长